Thoughts

My therapist asked me to describe my thoughts, and what they looked and felt like. 
Here they are.

Intrusive thoughts are like
Sharp daggers, shards of glass, cutting through what you know to be true and shocking your system.
Turning your head hot, not like a fever but like a fire, if you put an ice cube on your forehead it would melt and blend into your sweat. 
Making your fingers and toes tingle, like you’re floating but not in the fun way, in the way like in dreams, where you know something is wrong and you Just
Want
To
Wake
Up.
Now, I am going to talk about “comfortable” thoughts, which are in no way comfortable and actually much worse than intrusive thoughts:

Comfortable thoughts are 
Thoughts that you’re used to having, even though they’re not good or nice or fun or happy or calming thoughts,
But they’re thoughts that have passed through your head so much, so often, that they have run rivers in your mind,
Eroded your defenses and beaten down your walls until a new path has been formed.
Comfortable thoughts are rounded. They feel rounded. Comfortable thoughts can start their lives as intrusive thoughts, their sharp edges setting off warning bells in your brain,
But over time, as those thoughts stab and stab at you, their edges start to fade away, the sharp points become dull, and 
They create their own grooves, they meld themselves to fit your mind,
And your mind to fit them.

Comfortable thoughts are not comforting at all. They have merely made themselves comfortable with you. 
And you with them.